He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
