I just made out with a guy for $7.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
