Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
