Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
