like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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