hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i dont even know how to be here
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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