Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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