Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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