Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
thus making me awesome and them whores
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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