We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
