Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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