Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
