If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize