Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
