what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
