I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
