So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
