why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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