Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
