I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
