He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
