We're like a lot better than the average bears
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize