Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
