i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
