why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
