Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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