No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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