There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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