A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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