dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I won't apologize to a one balled man
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
