Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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