im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
