The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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