I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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