She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
