Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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