Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
