dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
