It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
