Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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