Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
