Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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