Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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