Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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