I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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