its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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