Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
