I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
