if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
