i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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