We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
