i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
