hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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