Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
