i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
