i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize