i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
