hotel room ftw
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize