Having a random hookup so left but love u
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
