i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
