My girlfriend figured out who you are.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize