It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
