elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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